CRU$# - Understood with a misunderstanding years back and now Redefined :) !
“I have a crush on him!”, whispered my friend looking at a tall boy who would always tease her and pull her plats which I hated to the core ! I was in the 8th grade then and to be honest; I knew only one meaning of “crush” and my knowledge of dictionary defined it as
“Something that u squeeze to destroy / damage it and throw away!”
But she had told this with a shy smile with a running thought in my mind about the word I redefined the word CRU$# with my content matching dictionary as
“Human being specifically a BOY whom A GIRL would love to beat in a crowd in order to damage thereby ensuring that he never dares to tease her back.”
I smiled back at her because I was happy that she realized that it’s high time that she puts a full stop on the boy’s teasing words. There were several reasons for my happiness. One reason for happiness was I always admired the moments when a girl would silent a guy with her words/action. Next, I had always enjoyed dominating in school and would not tolerate if a guy would bully/tease me and so I felt happier when I saw my friend joining me. I waited for the day for her to beat him and the wait never ended.
With time I even forgot my mistaken understanding on that word and even my friend had left the school. But after 3 years again I made a new friend in the class and I get to hear almost a similar statement pointed towards my best friend! Now I cant tolerate a girl hitting my best friend. But this time I corrected my foolishness,
“What does crush mean?”, I asked her with the lowest sound possible.
The obvious reaction that she gave me was laughing at my question.
“I never expected this from you.” She again told with the a laugh that was annoying.
I am losing my temper and with a stern look and big eyes,
“Tell me the meaning , will you? ”
“It’s like you like a person, a guy who looks cute handsome… you know that kind of feeling!” , replied my friend wearing a shy look on her face. Back home the only thing that I could do is laugh at my stupidness. And I started thinking if I had a feeling for any guy like that in my life.
“Oh damn! I have had so many crushes!”, a thought which increased my laughter. Any person if had noticed me at that moment would have thought me a crazy gal. It was time for some flash back.
My first irreplaceable crush or a hero I would say is and will always be my DAD for he molded me taught me how to walk, the values of life and THE FIRST ADMIRED person of my life would be my mother , the feeling , attributes even words would fail to express.
But now talking back to my school days, crushes had been on a lot of people, first grade a guy who had been a good class leader and would help everyone and an academic topper with fair good looks. He left the school the same year. Crush lists included few of my classmates who were good at academics, sports and music. May be its because of these crushes I was inspired to study well and explore myself more by involving in extra curricular activities.
And then when I entered college, in my first year I was in crush with a Professor only because- He was a gold medalist and an excellent tutor to lay good foundation on Technical knowledge who inspired me to like something that I hated in my High School.
A fine evening, in college, a crush on a Super Senior not because he stared at me with his big round eyes; it was for his wonderful English slang when I heard him talking with the professor.
There had been jus few sights in the college because my college lacked handsome guys and I don’t define them as CRUSH just because they look good. My recent crush had been at a premier institutes of India. As I got to see a tall, perfectly built, inquisitive eyes, rectangular frameless glasses riding on a cycle and an acquaintance friend’s senior who is pursuing his PhD. Its bad to fall in crush on your friend’s crush but this crush was for the good looks and the brain he had.
As I see defining crush in my life as,
“Someone being a good reason behind to motivate me with their attributes! And the last crush for now while I am typing this would be to inspire me for pursuing PhD somewhere down the future.”
Its just not these crushes ; there had been lot of ladies/gals in the form of TEACHERS, FRIENDS whom I admire them for just being around encouraging me and appreciating my talents.
While I am just ending this here , I am just enjoying the flashback of all those memories and those moments contributed by CRU$#E$ and LADY ADMIRER$ in my life which has brought me to this level. I hope even the ones reading this end up doing that with a smile and cherish those joyous moments as I did !!!