My Adorable Father !!!

My Hero, My Role Model, My inspiration, My pillar, My Friend, My Dear Father,

     

    1991 ... Stepping out of my mom's womb, only the moment you stepped into the gates of hospital was the moment when I was born. Being the third girl child you and mom still held me with the grin and smile irrespective of the societal tantrums. You held my hands while mom caressed my head. As I grew, I had all that I wanted. Love , care , affection , attention and essence of discipline and responsibility did come a long way. For all that materialistic things which was not there, in the challenging times you and mom never made your three daughters feel the absence of it.  

     You know the dreams I dreamt of and spoke about it; you both guided me to chase them and stood like the pillars of support even when my confidence trembled. Your "No" was carved in stone for me and has always protected me from the unknowns but at the same time your "freedom" was a privilege. You never imposed your views on me yet you encouraged me as I grew to get more independent. For the moments when I doubted in making my decision making skills you kept your hands on my shoulder and gave me that confidence to step up.

    When I fell down or made a mistake you both encouraged me to learn and made sure regrets didn't find space in me but a life of opportunities is what I should fill my space with. With mom's loss it has been hard for the last five years yet you cared for us like she would. Be it my 8 am watering plants or the 4 am tea preparation for you . Be that 6.30 am creasing the fresh newspaper to read the horoscope , talk about our nation or be that 4pm reminder to eat something , be that 11pm talks with relatives and ever caring talks for my sisters and your daughters.... You not only cared for my troubles or helps but also were there for anyone who approached for help

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..... now what lies in front of me are the memories .... 

I am lost yet trying to find myself , I am short of words because I don't have the morning voice  filled with a smile and blessings for a lovely day wishing me to be happy with your palms on my head.... I don't have the afternoons to share my lunch rants . I don't have my evenings where we shared our routine talks nor do I have nights where I would sit for dinner together and pour my heart out. 

There is a lot left to do but there was a lot done. There is life ahead but there was a life before. There was you, us and now ? Tears will roll down but I don't have fatherly hands to wipe them off. My heart is heavy but I dont have the fatherly hug to make that light. I will miss you dad for every moment in my life because for all the sacrifices you and mom did for your daughters even this life is going to be a debt that we would owe you...

I hope and believe your love, your words, your wisdom will ensure that there will be no vaccum of loneliness in my life and your blessings will continue to grow in addition to mom's love and blessings for eternity. 

Let your soul who always will love us, care for us and protect us rest in peace.

Forever yours and only yours 

The Beti who will always be proud of you ! 

... The draft of my emotions in the heart from 17.05.2022 !!!